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MY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD
by Nicole Petitclerc
March 7, 2006
I was born in 1964, when breast feeding wasn’t
popular. It was a time when buying cow’s milk and putting
it in a baby bottle, was the “IN” thing to do. Refined white
 sugar,
meat & potatoes, bacon & eggs, chocolate bars and
pop, pizzas and junk food, were a big part of my life. For
snacks, my mother used to cut apples into pieces and sprinkle
lots of white sugar on them. Every Sunday evening, my family
used to watch television and eat potato chips, chocolate bars
and pop, just before going to bed.
My mother used to reward me with food: KFC, ice cream, cakes,
French fries. When I was sad, or in pain, they fed me candies,
chocolates, cake or something sweet. I learned that it was
not ok to express my feelings. Instead of being myself, I
felt compelled to eat.
I grew up where “bad” food was a comfort, where “bad” food
was my friend. I was admonished: “Don’t cry, don’t make noise,
don’t disturb your father”. I come from a family that doesn’t
know how to communicate and parents who don’t know how to
deal with their feelings….especially with pain, suffering
and sadness. Those feelings were “bad”, those feelings were
suppressed with food.
FOOD became my way to cope with feelings. When I had obstacles
and stress in my life, I opened the fridge. When something
new happened in my life, I opened the fridge. Every time I
felt lonely or bored, I was opened the fridge and ate dessert
or salt & vinegar chips. When I was sick, my mother used
to force me to eat, because she was afraid that I would become
too weak. Even if my body didn’t want food, I listened to
my Mom to please her and had greasy, canned chicken noodle
soup.
Red meat used to lodge in my mouth and my mother told me to
drink at the same time, to help me swallow the meat that my
body didn’t want. Raw healthy food was almost non-existent
in my diet.
At the age of 38, I moved to Vancouver and discovered vegetarian
food. What a relief! It was easy for me to become a vegetarian
and 2 years later I became a vegan. In 2004, I started eating
more and more raw food, since it made sense to me to feed
my body living food.
Sometimes I still eat “bad” food and cooked food, even if
I know that it is not healthy. My early conditioning gets
the better of me sometimes. I still have cravings and I still
open the fridge door when I have unwanted feelings.
I need help to stay raw and don’t have the will power to be
100% raw. Why is that? I know what is healthy for me and yet
I do the opposite. Why?! I know that if I eat muffins or go
to a restaurant, I will feel heavy and bloated, so why I am
still doing it? Why would I knowingly give something unhealthy
to my body?
I haven’t found the answer yet. Meanwhile, I am focusing on
HOW to get the healthiest food available. Where can I go to
obtain the most nutritious food?
Two months ago, I heard about a Wellness Centre promoting
raw food, fasting, meditation and yoga. I sent my application
to them and I have been accepted for a 4 month internship
at their Centre in Panama.
While I don’t know if I will find all the answers to my questions
over there, I do know that I am going to be surrounded by
people who have lots of knowledge and by people who eat raw
food.
By surrounding myself with healthy people, maybe this will
help me to make the shift to a 100% raw diet, who knows?
I am leaving in mid March, 2006 and plan to return in July.
To be continued…
Nicole Petitclerc
What’s your story?
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